College life ft. social anxiety

School always had things planned out for me. There was no fear of uncertainty. I was used to those four classroom walls; every day, I saw the known faces, known teachers, and a planned routine. Everything seemed sorted and known - until I entered college. Those four walls just disappeared unexpectedly. I came across uncertainty, unplanned days, unexpected schedules devoid of any breaks, and an unplanned life. I was surrounded by the feeling of being lost in college and not knowing what

was going to come ahead. New faces started to appear. I tried to make them familiar, but that became very much forced, overwhelming and exhausting.

I remember the first day of college - everyone was standing there, forming a huge circle. We asked everyone their names, where they lived, why they chose this major, what's their next plan, and just the usual tropes of 'trying to get to know everyone'. But in that circle, I felt lonely. I was too overwhelmed with the environment to make conversations with other strangers. When I saw people making groups and planning their next hangout together, I felt left out, and my fear of missing out on things such as these occurred.

I am a socially anxious person. I suffer from social anxiety. Huge crowds, new faces, new places, and being the centre of attention scares me. I freeze when I have to be the person to start a conversation with people, and sometimes, even leaving the house for college seems like a battle. But does that mean that I have to miss out on everything? Teenage love? Going

out with friends? Going on trips? Not caring about what others think? I feel like time is running away from me. I am 19 years old, and I have experienced nothing. I see people of my age having the time of their lives, and I question -

How can people make so many friends? How come they seem to make so many memories in college that they will carry throughout their lives?

without patience. While dealing with social anxiety I learnt to face my anxiety, I understand that it may sound ridiculous. But it is very REAL, and at times very lonely. Try to be patient with those who struggle. They can improve with an increased confidence, but they won't achieve that without patience. While dealing with social anxiety I learnt to face my fears, I Started exposing myself to the situations that make me anxious, by

making sure to set small goals and take things one step at a time, accepting that no one is really concerned about what you are wearing, how you are looking or the way you are talking. I accepted that everyone is seeing me, not watching me. challenging myself to talk with people without giving

any second thoughts, affirming myself that I am good at making conversations.

Remember that it's a form of anxiety - our mind and body literally work against us to convince us we are in a deadly situation every time we are around strangers or are forced to speak in an unfamiliar environment. It is hard to overcome, especially in a day-to-day busy routine, but as we grow and fit in, we still leave behind one unique footprint to be remembered by.