Love - Updating.....

On this adventurous trip of finding her a partner, she met a few, some of them told her that she was too quiet and needed to smile often otherwise she comes across as rude. So she went out of her way and started being that outgoing, always smiling girl that everyone wants. Still, she felt that was not enough. Then came another, who told her that she needs to do something about her face and enhance her beauty more. So the girl tried various skin treatments and whatnot to make herself “beautiful.” Still, she felt that wasn't enough.

I am doing everything they want me to do so that they can be with me. Why wasn't I enough? Sitting by the lake on a fine day and just staring at her reflection in the water, she realized something. Was I enough for myself? I cannot let others decide who I am. I define my being. Charged with this new enthusiasm and recollecting her favorite actor’s dialogue, “Agar hum apni zindagi ka steering wheel apne haath mein nahi lenge na, toh koi doosra driver seat par baith jayega.”

So she started exploring herself. She was trying her best to love herself and like the person she was, the way she was.

Whilst on her self-love journey, she met a person with whom she felt a certain kind of connection, a feeling that maybe she can be herself with this person and it will still be okay. Although she was wary. I am not there yet, she said to herself, I need to completely get rid of the self-doubt I have and I have to be enough for me first.

Very firm on this decision the girl decided that after work she will tell him that we won’t be able to see each other. Whilst working a notification popped up on her laptop screen- “Update your laptop for a better and secure version”. Not again !! Now I have to stop my work and get this laptop updated, she thought. As she started doing so, she noticed that the update will be running in the background and she can continue her work.

Like a notification, a thought popped into her mind, Am I not allowed to date, until I am the best version of myself? Like this laptop, I can also keep on updating myself while embarking on this new and somewhat adventurous journey. If I am self-updating that doesn't mean I cannot receive love on the way. Right? You can find love while you are still finding yourself.

Very happy realizing this she called him and said, “ Let’s settle dal chawal for 50 years or more but I will be my own spicy tadka.”

- Pooja Inamke