My “Best Friend”

Picture this: I have a best friend. My best friend is the best because he always brings out the "best" in me, and makes me feel "confident," and helps me "love myself." Like a trusty companion, he's been by my side wherever I go. Can you guess who my best friend is? It's not a human, it's my hair straightener!

For the longest time, I thought this fiery friendship was the secret to my confidence. Every morning, I'd plug in that straightener, the steam hissing like an old friend whispering, "You've got this." It made me feel ready to face the world, smoothing out all the kinks and curls in my hair. I'd look in the mirror and think, "This is me at my best."

But lately, I've had a revelation. It turns out that my best friend wasn't as wonderful as I'd thought. In fact, our friendship was downright toxic. That trusty hair straightener was not so trusty after all. It damaged my hair, turning it into a crispy, fried mess. And to top it off, it never taught me how to truly love "myself."

You see, my natural hair is curly. Those curls were a part of me that I had never truly embraced. I'd been trying so hard to conform to society's beauty standards that I'd been denying my natural self. Accepting your body can be a tumultuous journey, one that often begins with the reflection you see in the mirror.

You become so accustomed to tweaking and altering parts of yourself to fit society's narrow definition of beauty that it's almost like living in a constant state of disguise. It's like wearing a mask, not just for the world but for yourself too. Over time, that reflection becomes the standard by which you measure your self-worth. I was so closely attached to this straight-here version of "me" that I couldn't go on a trip without carrying my hair straightener with me or even attend a party without straightening my hair first, in fact, after a shower, as soon as my hair would dry off, I used to immediately straighten my hair before anyone saw me.

Does it ring a bell? Yeah, that's what a toxic, over-dependent relationship looks like.

For me, it was my hair that had me in a tight grip. I had straightened it for so long that the curly, unruly mess beneath felt foreign. I no longer related to the person I saw in the mirror; she was a carefully constructed version of me, not the real me. This deception became so ingrained that I had forgotten what my natural curls looked like. It was as though I had erased a part of myself.

The real challenge lay in confronting that stranger in the mirror and deciding to meet her halfway. I had to peel back the layers of expectation and judgment, not just from society but from myself. It was about reacquainting myself with my own reflection, and acknowledging that I was more than a set of criteria determined by others.

It was time for a change. So, I decided to part ways with my hair straightener, and it wasn't easy. We had some great times together, but I knew I had to break free from this toxic relationship. As I began embracing my natural curls, I felt a sense of liberation I hadn't experienced in years. It was like shedding a heavy coat I'd been wearing during the wrong season. I realized that true self-acceptance was about rediscovering the beauty in authenticity. Those curls weren't just a part of my physical appearance but part of who I was. They were the strands that wove the story of my identity, one that was uniquely mine.

The journey to self-acceptance and self-love isn't always straightforward. It's about acknowledging your uniqueness and refusing to fit into a mould that was never meant for you. It's about understanding that beauty is diverse and that your quirks, whether curly hair, freckles, or any other feature, make you beautiful.

Breaking up with my hair straightener was just the beginning of my journey towards self-love and body acceptance. It's an ongoing process, but it's one that's worth every step. So, here's to embracing the real you, quirks and all, and learning to love yourself, no matter what society's standards may say. Your uniqueness is your beauty. Let it shine!

-Muskan Santwani